Eva Moe

Author: Eva

  • on repeat May 2025

    A list of songs and 1 album I’ve had on repeat for a while. Most of these are inspired by the Kilby Block Party.

    1. Cameron Winter’s Heavy Metal. It’s pretty rare that I put an entire album on repeat. This whole thing opened my chest and pulled out enough crayons and agony to share with the class. The lyrics have a touch of surrealism that is worthy of a poetry chapbook. And my god the vocals. Fucking hell. Playful and daunting at the same time. Like there was no other choice but to record these. I feel like a ghost listening to someone pour their soul out to themselves in their own kitchen.
    2. Geese’s “I See Myself” off of 3D Country. It’s just fun to scream along to! Cameron Winter is the vocalist of this band, and I got to see them live at the Kilby Block Party this year. Lovely! Great to sing with your friends! The music video is fun too.
    3. Friko’s “For Ella” off of Where we’ve been, Where we go from here. It’s a gut wrenching song that’ll pull you into the ocean by your ankles. First time I heard it I thought, “this song hurts too much, I probably can’t listen to it again safely.” I’m a few dozen listens in. “Open water by your bedside / broke a promise that I stand by.” Hurt me then! FINE!
      Also got to see the last bit of Friko’s set at Kilby, but sadly didn’t hear this one, don’t know if they played it.
    4. Molly Lewis, Thee Sacred Souls’ “Crushed Velvet” off On The Lips is an instrumental track that makes me feel like a tough-talking, gun-slinging cowboy with an unrequited love. Listen to this under a full moon and yearn as hard as possible. Shake your head about your terrible luck, even. It does something.
    5. Gorillaz’ “All Alone” off Demon Days. I’ve been listening to Demon Days since it came out in 2005. “All Alone” was never my favorite track. Didn’t skip it, but didn’t put it on repeat til now. Maybe it’s because I can finally read/understand the lyrics, but these days there’s really something special about Martina Topley-Bird’s part. Her vocals in the middle of everything “’cause I don’t leave / when the morning comes it doesn’t / seem to say an awful lot / to me” ugh. Squeeze me like a sponge, why don’t you.
    6. Tennis’ “I’ll Haunt You” off Swimmer. I said this in my last post, but Alaina Moore’s voice is angelic. Crisp as an apple. Seeing her live, you can tell she’s got a voice you don’t have to worry about. She’s not gonna mess a note up in a million years so you can just relax. Honestly sounds 100% in control of her voice. Hard to believe, but she’s even better live. Glad I got to see them on their Farewell Tour!

    There you have it! …kinda sad overall huh? It’s summer? I’ll have to choose happier music ahaha yikes girl. I stand by these repeats!

  • music career goals

    Speaking it out into the universe. This is all going for both Superfloor and my own music.

    1. Radio play! I want to hear one of my songs on the radio, AND play live on Radio K
    2. Superfloor T-Shirts! We can’t agree on imagery for the design lol so it will be super cool to have that process over and done with. And to actually have a band shirt! Merch! Cool!
    3. Play with the Minnesota Orchestra. I didn’t say “pipe dream” but let’s all just agree that’s what it is. I did play with them when I was in All State in like 2011 in high school. I want to play with them again but in a different capacity. Or maybe befriend one of the players. I miss orchestras.
    4. Open for a band I admire when they tour Minneapolis
    5. Play a show in Japan! I’ve missed it every day since I left, and I’d love to return as a musician instead of a teacher next time. Honestly, I just want to return <3
    6. Get back into a band where I’m the primary writer. This’ll be on top of Superfloor, so I really gotta take a look at my schedule. Ugh.
    7. Play a music festival
    8. Go on a Mini Midwest Tour
    9. Finish the album with Superfloor. We’re at the early stages of a full-length and I’m super excited for it! Yeah, we’re currently focused on getting our EP pressed and released, so I’m thinking too far in advance.
    10. Play a show in Chicago and NYC!

    I wonder which will happen first?

  • 7 Kilby Block Party Takeaways

    Just some notes for me, how I can incorporate what I saw into my own stage performances.

    Background info: 6 of us went out to Salt Lake City, Utah last week for the Kilby Block Party, an all ages music festival. Time of my life! 4 days of music is a lot for a current office worker but it was worth it. Financially, my friends and I must’ve seen well over $1k worth of shows for like half that price. We stayed at an airbnb and rented a car, we flew out from MSP to SLC. Flights were fine, SLC is a geologically awesome place, we love mountains and dinosaurs, etc.

    NOTES:

    First of all, I noticed how many women and femmes were on stage. I was looking forward to seeing Yo La Tengo’s Georgia Hubley on drums as it’s always cool and rare to see a fellow woman drummer. Thought she would be the last one, but I lost count! Not rare at all, it turns out. So many musicians like me were there and it was – dare I say – liberating. It’s not a boy’s club like it used to be.

    Highlights –

    1. Seeing Weezer play Only in Dreams as their final song of the night. That was my DREAM Weezer ending, and my first time seeing them. High School Eva was THRILLED.
    2. The Justice set was absolutely awesome. As the final set on the final day, I was wiped out. Knew I had no more dance in me. Then Justice went on, and I danced the entire set.
    3. Geese. What a VOICE.
    4. DEVO in general. The presence!
    5. St. Vincent stepping in someone’s nachos
    6. Beach House’s dreamy light show
    7. The sets weren’t too long (it’s a festival so they’re all limited on time)

    Lowlights

    1. A band I was excited to see didn’t play any songs I knew
    2. Saturday was way too long for me (but that’s our fault). We got there at noon, and went to the Tennis after party after Weezer’s headliner act. So it was 12 hours of music. Tennis was outstanding (Alaina Moore’s vocals are unreal. Even better live.) but I think we were all falling asleep while standing at that point.

    What I can bring home to my band:

    1. A band with good rapport between them makes for a fun show to watch. People can make mistakes on stage but they come across as funny if the band is goofy/lighthearted about it. Source: 2 of Peter McPoland’s guitar strings broke while on stage and they didn’t have a replacement for him so he had to keep going – Paganini style. It was super fun to watch them all improvise & you could feel their friendship from the audience. Seeing rapport like that makes me feel like I’m part of a big friend group that’s all hanging out together.
    2. Stage banter isn’t required for a good show. If I’m remembering correctly, Justice didn’t say a word to the audience. It was still one of my favorite sets though because it brought everyone together to dance, and I felt like I was safe to do as many of my kitchen dances as I wanted to. In my band, I’m the one that’s been delegated to the stage banter, and I’m honestly awkward AF. It might be time for me to re-adjust my method of just babbling about whatever I feel like and hope someone can hear me.
    3. Put the hits in the set. Obviously. This is more for festivals though, since there’s a higher percentage of people who haven’t even heard of you than there are at one of your own shows. Hits are fun plain and simple. A whole audience singing one song will grab people’s attention who are simply walking by. We don’t really have “hits” yet, or at least idk which songs are most popular. Rant: there’s one song we get requested, and it’s the only one I wrote. However, my band never seems all that interested in playing it. I hope they’ll agree to at least record it officially, put it on our album, and then we can see.
    4. I simply do not like audience participation requests from the stage. Personal preference, but I am uncomfortable when the band wants me to clap or sing a part. I’ve never liked that in any show I’ve been to, and already told my band long ago I’m not doing any of that. This just confirmed it. It’s not awkward for people in the tight crowds at the front, but it’s strange for people in the back who are spread out.
    5. Most of the musicians wore simple outfits. T-shirt and jeans basically. Again, festival attire. But they were still able to bring the vibes without any kind of special outfits. DEVO is an exception, but they’re DEVO. They can do whatever they want and it’s fun. In short, it’s fine if I just wear a basic outfit without becoming all cute and feminine. Other examples: Future Islands’ Samuel T. Herring dressed simply, but his passionate expressive energy kept my full attention. SASAMI wore a cool flashy outfit but I remember her wild chaos more than anything else!
    6. Full band coordination is cute AF – yeah I just talked about simple outfits. However. Peter McPoland’s band all wore 3 piece black and white suits. DEVO wore the same outfits on occasion (they somehow managed wardrobe changes within the time constraints, idk how they pulled it off…). Super cute. They even had choreography.
    7. Opinion – bad lyrics can’t be fixed by a beautiful voice or cool music. I’ll get some arguments on this. For me, unless you’re an instrumental band, lyrics have to be top priority. I crave your words and ideas! And I want those words and ideas to be well done! Yeah it’s subjective what constitutes “bad” lyrics. But if it’s just a boring story like “I called but you didn’t pick up, we keep doing this, what are we to each other” I can’t feel anything. I want the drama.

    All in all, the Kilby Block Party was a great time, and I hope I can make it to next year’s festival! The inspiration gained is already helping me level up.

  • group chat name: tall ppl only (3) [personal essay]

    Hope is the thing that lasts the longest, and the thing that hurts the most. I say this to my friends at dinner, slurping our way through our favorite Vietnamese place. We talk about relationships and I space out, letting my recent slow-drip heartbreak run down my ribs like dipping sauce.

    We pay for dinner and learn that the owner is from Hà Giang and has lived in Japan for ten years. He shows us Tiktoks of people there dancing, working on fields, passing through the tall green hills and clear rivers. He says every word with so much pride that I picture myself swimming in the jewel-blue rivers feeling the same joy. I think of my hometown with its long grey winter and short summer, how people are happy enough to bake casseroles to keep their hands warm and never see Vietnam. I’m returning to Minnesota in a few weeks and maybe I’ll finally learn to care about tater-tot hotdish.

    We say gochisousama deshita and walk to the Lawson down the block because there’s more to say and it’s chilly. The hot chocolate looks watery, but maybe we’ll get lucky and it’s only a trick of the light. It’s not. We pay and head to the river. One of us finds a good spot far enough away from others and we marvel at how you don’t have to search for things to do in Kyoto. You can always go to the Kamo River and sit, and maybe Trumpet Guy by the bridge figured out how to play this time.

    It’s dark enough to be anonymous. The three of us watch the black river trickle down its thin steps as other friends, couples, bikers, and runners pass behind us. The friend we haven’t seen in months talks about relationships again. There’s a woman waiting for him and he has to tell her not to. My problem is the opposite; I’m waiting for someone and tell myself not to. I wipe a line of hot chocolate from my chin and wonder if things will ever stop dripping.

    I fill him in on the crush I had for months, the one I’ve given up on a few times. He says He’s a great man. What did you like about him? Every time I sip this cocoa, I hope it’s rich and creamy like the kind I make at home, but it’s only sugared water. He seemed so warm and kind, but never let me know him. I don’t say that I’m grateful for the years I spent learning to be funny if only to be the reason he smiles. That’s too serious. If only my jokes wouldn’t catch in my throat.

    We say a quick goodbye and make a plan for our real one, the last time the three of us will be together. The last time we’ll be at our favorite mom-and-pop restaurant in Higashiosaka, the city we became friends in. I walk home, remembering that soon I won’t be able to walk alone at night without a turtle shell of fear at my back.

    Towards the East is a star pattern that looks like a check mark, and underneath it is my home. The tree-lined mountain looks black against the navy blue sky and I look forward to seeing it again in the morning, green and glistening. Can mountains be grateful for the years they spent forming if only to be the reason someone like me has something to worship? I shake what’s left in the bottle and wonder if a soul mate could be a place instead of a person. My head tilts back and I finish what I’m drinking.

  • February Reads

    List of books I *finished* reading in February. I start many books at the same time and often finish them in one fell swoop. I started many of these in January. Sidenote, Non-Fiction books have titles as long as Panic! At the Disco songs.

    1. Erasing History: How Fascists Rewrite the Past to Control the Future – Jason Stanley. A great read that links the past to our present moment. It opened my eyes to see the signs of fascist politics and policies. I feel more informed and able to think more critically about the current US regime. It reads a bit like a textbook at times.
    2. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself – Nedra Glover Tawwab. Started this around 2020, and I swear I’ve never met a self-help book that has been quite as immediately useful as this one. Please give it a read if you think you might struggle with boundaries or people pleasing.
    3. Parable of the Sower – Octavia E. Butler. Had to buy a physical copy after finishing the audiobook. It inspired both my writing and present way of thinking about life. The only thing is, I wish I’d read it ten years ago. Elegantly written, this is a dystopia that feels more possible every day. If you’re from the US and never thought about a collapsed future, this may shift your perspective.
    4. Assistant to the Villain – Hannah Nicole Maehrer. Romantasy! It was as fun as you want a Romantasy book to be, and minus the clumsy main character, there was a noticeable lack of irritating cliches that are rife in the genre. (“I’m not like other girls” did not come into play, for instance). Also, I cast Sebastian Stan’s Winter Soldier as the Villain 🙂
    5. Apprentice to the Villain – Hannah Nicole Maehrer. Fun follow up with a little more world building. Can’t wait for the 3rd book!
    6. The Fire Next Time – James Baldwin. A short informative read that was my first foray into James Baldwin literature. This one feels a little like the thoughts are happening in your own mind. Up close and personal. I’ll be rereading this, and look forward to my next book of his, Giovanni’s Room.
    7. The Art of War: The Essential Translation of the Classic Book of Life (Penguin Classics 2002 edition) – Sun-tzu, John Minford. I bought this one as soon as I returned it to the library. This is now an essential part of my personal library, and I will rebuy it if my current copy goes missing. I adore this edition for 2 very different reasons.
      • I got so many great fight-scene ideas for books!
      • The commentators throw shade at each other that the editor absolutely did not have to include. It oscillates between high-academic nerdery as expected, and the arguments in a reddit comment section. Idk much about Giles, but he did not like Cao Cao’s ‘untranslatable ramblings’ (not direct quote), and for that knowledge, I am deeply sated.

    Happy reading,
    Eva

  • 2024 Bookify Wrapped

    Now look. I know it’s February 2025. But allow me my ramblings anyway. I read more books last year than normal. I had lots of walking around and listening to do. Still, I know it doesn’t compare to your friend who read 121 or whatever. We’re not here to judge each other (I’m not, maybe you are idk), we’re here to judge books by how much they meant to us. :’)

    I read 30+ books. Here’s my top shelf:

    1. Autobiography of Red – Anne Carson. Couldn’t read one page of this without sitting down to write. The description, Anne Carson’s way with adjectives. The images are made of cream, the book put visions into my mind. Still haunted by: “Not a bee crawled up Geryon’s spine on the inside.”
    2. Iron Widow – Xiran Jay Zhao. It was fresh and full of fire, new love and new ideas that a Westerner like me doesn’t get the chance to read often. It sparked further interest in Chinese writing
    3. All the young dudes – gamesformay on Archive of Our Own. A Harry Potter fanfic that was written in a way that traditional publishing doesn’t do. It reopened my love of the HP world despite all that its original author has done to tarnish it. Moreso than that, it reminded me of the different ways to write long-form stories.
    4. The Memory Police – Yoko Ogawa. This one was recommended to me. I’d say I liked this book for the feat of allowing me to see deeper into my friend’s minds. Two of them liked it. If not for them, I think I would’ve DNFd it. It’s slow and I didn’t really enjoy how uneasy it made me feel, but it has a lingering effect. An unsettling aftertaste. Try it out if you’re into dystopian novels, and if you liked The Truman Show and The Giver.
    5. No Longer Human – Osamu Dazai. I am struck by this book. Lovers of The Bell Jar may enjoy this one. It meant a lot to me as someone who goes through this world feeling outside of things. I’ve fooled myself long enough with my own mask, and this book felt like reading someone’s deepest secrets, like the words you don’t allow yourself to think. Trigger Warning – sexual assault, suicide, misogyny. Despite all these things, I’m in awe. As soon as I find a copy, I’m adding it to my library.

    This year expanded my mind in many ways, and I’m eager to await the literary journeys that the Year of the Snake has in store.

  • cassette tape

    I was taught I run in circles
    of friends with the same taste.

    I was taught when I move,
    you move too. That my voice

    is a ribbon in the middle of
    your ribs. That your voice layers

    over mine like a hand.
    Over time, I will teach you

    how to return yourself
    to the starting position

    taught and ready, before
    the song you love forgets you.

  • Currently reading 1/20/2025

    A list of what I’m currently reading

    1. Erasing History: How Fascists Rewrite the Past to Control the Future – by Jason Stanley
    2. The Art of War – by Sun Tzu
    3. Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

    The more I learn about fascism, the more I notice it in the media. Today’s inauguration and the charisma of president trump hold no shortage of examples.

    My reading selection isn’t usually so grim, but I’ll make time for romance/fantasy again soon. Very much looking forward to reading Xiran Jay Zhao’s Heavenly Tyrant!

    Hope you’re all taking time to celebrate MLK day and looking into your community’s city hall meetings.

    Cheers to friendship,

    Eva

  • Overlaps – what I’m making lately

    Ever since I bought rubber stamps, I’ve been making more of these “overlap” things. They mimic the repetition of stamps with the imperfection of handwriting. I don’t know if they’re poems or a disjointed journaling technique, but I’m working with them to express how words appear in my mind as I say them. It might be the most accurate style of stream-of-consciousness writing for me. Typing it out makes it sound like I’m screaming in my head at all times, which is not the case. Promise. 

    I LOVED KYOTO KYOTO KYOTO I LOVED KYOTO I LOVED KYOTO
    EVEN POWERLINES POWERLINES
    EVEN POWERLINES CAN BE A JEWELRY NECKLACE
    AT THE NECK THROAT OF GREEN GREEN MOUNTAINS MOUNTAINS
    DRINK BY THE KAMO RIVER KAMOGAWA KAMOGAWA KAMOGAWA KAMOGAWA
    I WAS GONNA SAY I WAS JUST GONNA SAY THAT IF YOU GO DOWN BY
    IF YOU GO AND FIRST YOU GOTTA GO AND GET A BEER
    YOU CAN GET SELTZER TOO GET A SELTZER OR A JUICE
    THEY ALSO HAVE HOT DRINKS HOT DRINKS ONCE WE GOT HOT CHOCOLATE HOT CHOCOLATE
    I DON'T LIKE THE WORD THROAT HERE OR ANYWHERE IT'S TOO SHARP IT'S TOO SHARP AND THE GREEN MOUNTAINS ARE SOFT LIKE A POLAROID POLAROID POLAROID POLAROID

  • Blog and career writing

    from the drafts, February 2024

    It’s a hard thing to have a hobby and not pluck its feathers hoping someone wants a coat. I write and think about publishing, and where, and who wants it. The choices swirl and never come together. Like unmixable latte art. I plant false interviews in my daydreams just to pull that ego from my throat and brush my hair with adoration. Ariel sings, “I want more”. How can I abandon my knee-jerk reaction to post post post anything I write and everything?

    Most poetry journals and magazines want original, unpublished work. That includes everything on a blog. So the ‘Hamlet’ is to publish poems here or not.

    October 2024 update
    Yeah I’m submitting to poetry magazines but also writing my thoughts and book-writing journey here. I get so serious sometimes. Overthinking. *pats my past-self’s head* It’s all right. Do whatever you want, girlie girl.

    Cheers,
    Eva