Eva Moe

Author: Eva

  • not until it’s too late

    Inspired by astrono77153462

  • Review: Cameron Winter at Rockefeller Chapel 12/17/2025

    Right now it’s 1/29/2026 in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Alex Pretti was murdered on Saturday, and on Sunday I joined an ICE watch zoom training. Tonight, an old friend of mine will give me a refresher on gun safety. This is a terrible introduction to a Cameron Winter show review but just hold on. Most of my time now is spent thinking about what skills I must acquire for the revolution, and then learning them. There’s no need for tinfoil; you know what’s happening. Does paper beat bullet? All I have is a pen. And as much as I love my Zebra Sarasa Clip 0.5mm, I’m not sure it’s mightier than an AR-15.

    Camera back on Cameron. It was a brisk day in Chicago on December 17th, 2025. He was set to play at Rockefeller Chapel, so my friend and I took a flight down to see him. As we hopped on local transit, we could guess with 100% accuracy who else was headed to our destination. What are we called, new hipster white people? I’m surprised I did not find my doppelganger (where are you?!).

    Reports from Geese Nation’s discord server (Geesecord) said the first fans got in line in the morning. More showed up in the afternoon. By the time we got there a half hour before doors, the line was down the block. Out in the cold to see a man and a piano.

    Inside, sconces line the walls and the chapel’s ceiling stretches to a deep point, with iron lanterns hanging down. I told Geesecord I was wearing a bright green sweater and stood up, hoping someone would see me among the dark pews and I could make a new pal. And it worked! We met up by the entrance after the show. Being part of an online community and getting to meet those people in real life is truly one of the internet’s greatest blessings. Now I have another friend in Texas!

    I’ve been fortunate enough to see Geese perform twice, and was therefore super excited to see the kind of energy Cameron Winter would bring to a solo set. He switches the lyrics sometimes and you’re almost guaranteed to get a different melody than the studio recording. This is why Geese Nation has an archivist (s/o Emily!) and also why a live show is vital for a fan to see! I can only assume Cameron’s stage presence was lovely this time as well. Since I was in the middle with many heads to dodge in front of me, only one of my eyes was able to see him at any given time. Thank God I have two.

    The whole thing was beautiful start to finish, but there’s only one part I replay again and again in my mind.

    At the end of $0, after the God is Real part, he finishes the lyrics and it’s just the piano. The audience was captive the whole time. But now, we held our breath, quiet as the ceiling. The lanterns looked warmer and somehow even the air was soft, like how it feels to stay inside and watch the snow fall. A tear fell down to my neck. And as he hit the final chord, sniffling began around me. Applause broke out and many of us pulled out tissues to wipe our eyes and laugh. “I’m cryin’ right now haha,” someone said behind me.

    Cameron debuted a new song called “It’s Being Waited For,” which has a great line about a milkman. For the encore he played my personal favorite, “If You Turn Back Now.” Almost half of the songs were unreleased and yes, the next album is going to rule.

    He left the stage to a standing ovation. I left the concert feeling lighter and a little dizzy. Almost two months have passed since then. ICE has ransacked my city and murdered my neighbors, and the illusion of safety has been shattered once again. But whenever the need arises, I can close my eyes and return to that moment when I cried at church with other Cameron Winter fans. And for a moment I remember peace.

    Maybe next time I’ll get to see him with both eyes at the same time. Until then, the live recordings will tide me over.

    With love,
    Eva Moe

  • Boiling Frogs in The Kitchen

    There’s a new Animal Farm. One that’s bigger and better than all other Animal Farms you may have heard about. This one is in a big beautiful room called The Kitchen and today is soup day. The Claw Machines are all over the ceiling, whizzing about (it’s very exciting, nobody has Claw Machines like this, they’re the best in the world). They pick up a big batch of frogs and put them in a metal pot on the stove. Some frogs try to stop this, but those frogs are ugly. Don’t be ugly.

    There’s an old saying, “the frog doesn’t know it’s being boiled alive until it’s too late.” But that is a very stupid saying, and anyone who uses it is dumb and should die. That’s because all frogs know they’re being boiled alive. They like it! They really do, some of them even beg for it.

    “I don’t want to be soup today!” Ribbet cries. Ribbet’s always crying because he’s a loser.
    “You make everything about you,” Swatter says. She tells it like it is.
    “It’s terrible they put us in here,” Frog Leader sighs. He had another name before, but all frogs who are elected must change their name to Frog Leader and forget themselves.
    “But they’re just doing their jobs,” Swatter shrugs. Frog Leader agrees, reminding everyone it’s good for the economy.

    Ribbet hops around the pot, totally unaware of how many other frogs he’s splashing with hot water. “Maybe we could hop out and try to avoid certain death?” he suggests. Ribbet is very stupid and inconsiderate by the way, if it wasn’t clear already. He’s also a terrorist.
    “Don’t hop out!” Frog Leader yells. “That’s what they want! But more importantly, it’s illegal.”

    Ribbet is pretty sure the Claw Machines, or whoever controls them, do not want the frogs to jump out, and that’s why it’s illegal to do so. If they jump out, they might live. And you can’t live for your farm. You can only die for it. Living is unpatriotic.

    Swatter calms everyone with her impressive logic. She says it’s a lot cozier to be boiled alive than to risk a Claw Machine. They all spend the rest of the afternoon debating, until they stop talking altogether.

  • ICE Gestapo Slave Patrols

    ICE killed a woman in Minneapolis. They’re emptying the country like it’s nothing more than pouring a bucket of water back in the river. I wonder what kind of life you have to have in order to think you’re being heroic. Maybe you read about American slave patrols when you were a kid, heart wishing it could’ve been you separating those bathrooms. What kind of meaningless existence it must be to find purpose in murdering people. How bleached your soul must be. After they kill a person, after they grab them from the streets and throw them into a secret and an unmarked grave, do they put their hands together? Look up, thank God they had the strength?

  • encouraging daydream

  • What I’m listening to 1/6/26

    1. The buckets on my floor filling up with water drip by drip. I’ve already been in one ceiling collapse so if it happens again, it’s a little embarrassing.
    2. Cameron Winter’s “Vines” – particularly struck by the line “Didn’t I say, didn’t I tell you / So long and so often / This house is falling apart / And you don’t give a damn.” The water on my floor, the windows that won’t shut all the way, the burst pipe in the kitchen. I wonder if he wrote this from the perspective of a crumbling building. Or maybe my apartment sent him the lyrics.
    3. Howard Hanson’s Elegy – You’re on a rock by the ocean, watching a storm roll through, and when that one special theme hits (you’ll know which one) the fury clears and leaves you with a glistening peace over the glittering orange and blue water.
    4. Manuel De Falla’s “The Three Cornered Hat – final dance/jota” – I played both the Elegy and Jota in high school. Always thought this one sounded the way it feels to fall in love.
    5. Space heaters.
    6. My car’s engine trying too hard to make it up that ice rink of a driveway.
    7. The Powerpuff Girls (End Theme) – from Bis, a Scottish band. Never noticed the accent until yesterday.

    Hope the first week of 2026 is going all right.
    Eva

  • 2026 Vision Boards!

    Hello! This is the 2nd year in a row I’ve gotten together with some friends to make vision boards for the upcoming year. Collage is by nature an imperfect artform, and by putting these together I’ve remembered a little bit about how to relax. Loosen the reins.

    My hopes for 2026 are mostly internal. I want my imagination to be playful again, like when I was a kid and fantasized about magic powers.

    2025’s vision board was prominently displayed in my room, and looking at it regularly helped keep me focused and on track. That said, I did not spend more time in nature, get a new watch, travel to a different country or take archery classes. But new targets have come into focus.

    One of my 2025 goals was “print print print print print print print” and while I did not end up finishing a draft of my book, what I wrote this year started opening doors. My writing is reaching more people <3

    “I realized I could do this for a living” was more of an aimless desire, up to surprise. I made a little money from music, and my newfound Geese obsession pushed me to do all kinds of things I was not expecting.

    Overall, 2025 was filled with high highs and low lows. I’m not sure what 2026 will be, but I’ll try to be as chill as that guy riding a horse in the city.

    Cheers,
    Eva Moe

  • 12/25/25

    Our dear old Paint has quite the personality. You can do almost nothing with it, and that’s why it rules. Anyway, the stars these days look like Blue Diamond from Steven Universe and inside my mind there’s a meadow I fuse into. Merry Christmas, hope you got time off work to rest and be playful. I’m currently trying to avoid a whiny, very hairy dog.

  • Favorite Albums 2025

    Spotify is OUT, analogue is IN. This year, the full-length album has returned to my interests. I used to listen to albums straight through, but ever since around 2015 dropped the practice entirely. Singles and playlists became my norm, and I hadn’t really cared to sit with anyone’s full album since probably Tyler, The Creator’s IGOR. Stale behavior, I know.

    Inspired by former Geese member Foster Hudson, I returned to my senses and made an effort to listen to more albums in their entirety and was handsomely rewarded. This year, the one that means the most is of course Cameron Winter’s Heavy Metal. If you’ve read any of my “What I’m Listening To Lately” posts since the spring, you’d already know!

    This summer I gathered a decent vinyl set-up (baby’s first turntable) and began the expensive hobby of collecting albums. There are only so many paychecks in a year, but here are the albums that meant the most to me in 2025.

    7. Gustav Holst – The Planets [CD not pictured, it was in my car and I didn’t want to go get it. Cold AF out there] (1918)
    The first performance of this was in 1918. Since then, countless orchestras across time and space have performed this absolute banger orchestral suite. If you’re a fan of King Crimson’s “The Devil’s Triangle,” you’ve already heard some Holst. Listen to Mars before a battle. Listen to Jupiter after you’ve won.

    6. Hayden Pedigo – Letting Go (2021)
    Favorite track: Carthage. My dad used to play a classical guitar when I was a kid, and I’d sit nearby and listen, daydreaming about train travel. His arthritis is too bad to play these days, but hearing Hayden brings me back to that time of peace. I was fortunate enough to see him perform last month, and it’s every bit as restful and restorative as I hoped for. Listen on a nature walk.

    5. Nina Simone – I Put a Spell on You (1965)
    Favorite track: “Tomorrow Is My Turn.” The way she sings reminds me of the Dr. Maya Angelou quote, “One of the things I do when I step up on a stage…I bring everyone who has ever been kind to me with me.” Nina Simone sings with aura. Like anyone who’s ever loved her is in the room. Listen when you know who you want to be.

    4. Nick Drake – Bryter Layter (1971)
    Favorite track: “One of These Things First.” Reminds me of a Kazuo Ishiguro quote, “There was another life that I might have had, but I am having this one.” Listen when you don’t know who you want to be.

    3. Geese – 3D Country (2023)
    Some of these songs you can sing your lil heart out to, and then sometimes you just have to stare into the distance as you hear “Some people are alone forever.” The whole album feels the way playing pretend did when you were a kid. “St. Elmo” sounds like cowboys in a bar fight, and Domoto sounds like the shift between the fun of daydreams and harsh reality. Listen when you need fresh air, or to feel like a kid again.

    2. Geese – Getting Killed (2025)
    Without explaining myself in any way, this album showed me the effectiveness of a well-written email, and for that I am eternally grateful. As it’s the only album in my list released in 2025, it’s the closest I’ve been able to get to entering modern culture. Listen when you’re lost.

    1. Cameron Winter – Heavy Metal (2024)
    Listen when you’re tired in a way that sleep can’t fix. I’ve scattered praise of this album across the internet and tugged anyone’s sleeves who would let me. Eva you are being insufferable about this damn album. Yes but this time it’s okay. You’d think the 2 essays I wrote about Getting Killed were inspired by Getting Killed. No. I’m only an essayist because of Heavy Metal.

    First Listen: May 18, 2025. I stopped playing Spider Solitaire & found my friend in the other room. I knew what to do. I’m an essayist now, too & the drummer & frontman of 2 bands. I take voice lessons & buy myself flowers. A record player’s in the corner – no dust. Yes! I know what to do & have the will to do it. Thank you! – Eva

  • Introducing Baxter!

    Hello! The new band I’m in is called Baxter! We like it because it sounds like a very good dog.

    Here’s our first demo: For After

    Lyrics:
    Open like a jaw in the morning
    it’s underground now, the soft down.
    Your smile, the dining hall, the pattern
    what you don’t learn the hard way.
    Miles left before you sleep

    Time leaves forever
    it eats the old clock in the tower, and your broken cup.
    The armor, the silken veil in marble
    what you must learn the hard way.
    Miles left before you sleep
    left before you sleep.