2/23/21 + short story: time travel romance

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I’ve got like 30 pages of fanfiction and there’s no sex yet. I think I’m doing it wrong. Anyway I think ONLY of time travel. Do not bother me with other thoughts! I’m reading a lot of manga. So far only Yu Yu Hakusho and My Hero Academia/Boku No Hero Academia but the latter is so popular in the digital library that I’m reading them completely out of order. Volume 8 was first, then 6, and 12 is now available. Please don’t spoil either of these stories!

I started reading Haruki Murakami’s “Wind/Pinball” and halfway through I was like “that’s it, I know what I have to do” so I put the book down and have thought about picking it back up the past few days. How fascinating!

There was a novel in the works about a school for psychics but I got stuck writing it because everyone knows what’s on the test and my MC was too powerful but so very boring. You ever write a book and can’t put a plot in because everyone’s too nice? Now I’m into time travel (meme: two astronauts in space, one gazes at the earth and asks “You’re into time travel?” and the other astronaut floats behind him with a gun to the guy’s head and says “always was”) & fanfic and don’t have energy for these psychics!

first draft story about time travel romance – I’m trying to write more casually. Getting caught up in being literary makes my writing stiff.

Since the aftermath of the disastrous party, Lilac couldn’t bring herself to go back to the coffee shop, because he might be there. He looked just like her former unrequited love. Well, just the outfit. Tell me, how does a woman so strong and charming end up chasing after the only men who are most difficult to break through?
Expert Michele Tiery (her expertise is in being a best friend) speculates she’s after The Chase. She’s after the feeling of winning a difficult battle.
Oh, there’s a handsome man who rarely smiles and won’t open up his heart? Well well well! Looks like a job for Lilac Valentine!
Lilac Valentine loves playing games with these men. All she’s after is their pure spirit to leak through, to bubble up to the surface, creating a ripple effect in their lives. And then, like a sexy Nanny McPhee, she leaves. Why stay when the jig is up? Most of them end up being shitty anyway.
A long time ago, however, there was one man who she chased. Caught. And couldn’t let go of.
He was a skilled swordsman, a half human half bird who wore nothing but black and white. Making out was a little troubling, as he had a beak. But that was all right with her.
In the end, Lilac realized the bird man pulled the very same trick on her as she had with so many others. But they fell in love together. They made tea, ate bugs (mostly him), watched television. Tried to build flat pack furniture. And then one day, she accidentally stepped into the future, leaving everyone she ever loved behind.
The future was mostly glass, grass, and ass pottery barns. Not the store, actual barns for pottery.
In this new time, how would Lilac Valentine utilize her skills at cat and mouse romance to force life itself to chase her? For lost time to catch up?
She was out of ideas. How could she flirt with adventure? How could she tell jokes and make the mountains laugh? And most challenging of all. How would she learn to love life itself again?
No love interested her. No man, no woman. No cuties.
She wandered through her new city, her new time. What’s a girl to do when she’s thrust into the far future with no job, no friends, no family? [author’s note: lol burn notice]
Lilac goes for a cup of coffee everyday and writes everything down. Spends her whole day catching up on the last few hundred years of music and culture. And everyday, there’s another regular she runs into. Waves hello most times.
Today she didn’t wave hello. Just a head nod. Catching on that the interactions were getting less personal, he had to do something.
“Hey,” he said. “What’s your name?”
He wore only black and white. What’s this guy’s deal? What is he, some type of minimalist?
“Lilac Valentine. I’m not from around here.”
“I’m Leif. I’m not from around here either.”
“Where are you from?”
“I’m from the future. It’s weird living so far in the past. None of the music I like has been born yet. I guess you could call me an aspiring fan.”
“Oh really? I’m from the past. Everyone I ever loved is dead. And the music I like was written so long ago, nobody remembers it.”
“Wow, we’re really a match huh!” he said with a smile, rubbing the back of his neck, which was free from feathers. “Wanna sit at the same table for coffee tomorrow?”
And so they agreed to meet the next morning. They talked about music, about culture, how much has changed, how weird it is to be the only two time travelers in the city, how the online groups for time travelers are never reliable because the longest ones only live for a hundred years or so.
Life as an accidental time traveler is tricky. Everyone’s moving and going. You never know when someone’s going to stay or leave. Every day could be your last.

Scribble and fill digital art

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Ever since I had access to computers with Paint installed, I’ve made these little scribble and fill digital paintings. All you do is open whatever art app you have (this was in Procreate), pick a utensil, and scribble! Then fill the shapes with whatever colors you want.

I thought my custom myspace backgrounds were hot honey.

I love making them because it’s sort of mindless and I often get something that looks cool, even if the edges end up fuzzy and flawed. It’s a fun way to play with new color palettes, as well as learning the program you’re working with. I also do these on paper sometimes.

color pencil on a sketchbook page

I hope you’re finding ways to have fun during quarantine!
Talk to you soon,
Eva

Air filters: needs improvement

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Why aren’t air filters biodegradable? The wide variety of small filters that go in air purifiers, the large flat ones that go wherever there are air ducts, the ones for cars. They’ve all gotta be changed consistently anyway, but they just get thrown away. What’s the point of having air filters if they’re just going to contribute to dirty air in the long run? Yes, I’m familiar with dust.

No reading goals for 2021

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I’m not doing a reading goal this year. It never works for me and takes the fun out of reading books because it always feels like I have to. Yuck!

I don’t know who else struggles with this, but with my ADHD, it’s really difficult to finish books. Most books can’t keep my attention for more than a chapter, and I end up starting dozens more than I finish.

That said, I didn’t read many books in 2020, but here were my favorites:

  • Undead Girl Gang by Lily Anderson – witchy in all the right ways, although it left me with a very creepy and visceral image of mushrooms. I read this months ago and I’m still creeped out.
  • The Hand on the Wall (Truly Devious, #3) by Maureen Johnson – I really loved this series and the final book tied it all together.
  • How We Fight For Our Lives by Saeed Jones – I listened to the audiobook, which I highly recommend. You know when people say, “Jesus Christ, read a book!” to signal that you need to broaden your horizons? I recommend this one. It’s gay, coming of age, historical, and immensely visual. I remember this book like it was a movie.
  • A Long Fatal Love Chase by Louisa May Alcott – so many red flags, such romance, and terrible drama! I never read Little Women but I bet it’s nothing like this one.

[poem] It’s Halloween Again

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It’s been Halloween for three seasons.
I don’t mean October 31st
We’re not in a time loop.
It’s been a half-open otherworld up here.
Misty metallic air, like the whole atmosphere is woven with ghosts.
Earth breathes greener than it’s ever been in front of these eyes (these old bad boys, these astigmatic dorks)
The sky blinks sunny and blue but there’s a rainy electricity in the air.
You can smell it.
It’s Halloween so early? So late? So long
But it’s Spring. It’s gotta be. The weather searches for softball
and shuffles the tarot cards.
Mushrooms puff out of the grass,
and candles do too, like ominous flaming flowers (all colors)
There’s a twinkle in the eye of every pond
glitter in the inhale
exhale
of dusk and dawn
and all of us can fly.
Trees crack their backs and
all black cats can talk
birds chirp fairies fairies fairies
I hope this lasts.

The Enemies of a Peace Treaty: Chapter 1

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Perhaps beaming myself into a public place wasn’t the best idea. In my defense, these people weren’t supposed to be here. 

The old guy kicked my knee. “How are we supposed to believe you’re from the future?” he asked. 

They’ve been asking me this for about an hour. Only a few people saw me enter this timeline, but one of them had a camera. Soon, I was tied to a garden bench encircled by a small crowd.  

“I’ve been a light harvester for my whole life. Okay, since I was thirteen. When y’all ruined the Earth in 2020 during the flu, or what was it called? The Pandemic. Right. The American government nearly ruined the Earth, killing millions of people. There was some sort of explosion, forgive me, history isn’t my best subject. 
“Anyway, Americans were allowed outside during the Pandemic just as people were starting to feel better. That was in May 2020. Then, millions of people died in a week.”

The oldest of the group gaped at me. “Then let’s stop that from happening! May 2020 is only six months from now. We have time!” 

I laughed and shook my head. “I’m not here to stop the pandemic. That’s a great example of what we call a Fixed Event. Something so important to history that no matter what anyone does, it’ll happen again and again.” 

“That makes no sense, if we just told the government-” 

“Gonna stop you right there,” I said. “The government doesn’t care. Your government and people have been molded in place for hundreds of years just for the event to occur.” 

Everyone was silent. I knew I shouldn’t be telling them all this. But I just couldn’t help myself.  “Once it became clear that humanity would overpopulate themselves at too fast a rate, mass extinction was inevitable.” There are other reasons, but let’s just say I don’t know about them.

“If you’re not here to stop the pandemic,” Someone asked. “Then why are you here?”

I sighed. Everyone back home was right. These people were really dumb. Maybe it’s just Americans? “I’m here to stop the Peace Treaty of 2020.” 

to be continued

The Attack of the Quarantine Karens

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On April 20, 2020, three Karens from different cities in the United States of America banded together. Their mission was to open every non-essential business across America. But their bond went deeper than their selfish need for haircuts. Yes. Though their gray roots sprouted several inches past their usual bleach session, what brought them together was their collective need to scream at anyone who made less money than them. 

The three Karens drove from all across the country to get to Minneapolis, Minnesota. One came from Denver, Colorado. One came from Lansing, Michigan. And the final Karen hailed from Atlanta, Georgia. 

“You liberal scum you leotard hangliding riff raff scallywag yellowbelly mommy yupping gum cock,” They chanted collectively under their breath. “You’ll never tell me what to do. Not ME. My body. MY rights.” They went through this long bizzare phrase until they blushed with fatigue. 

“Governor Tim Walz will not let these ladies get haircuts,” said Lansing Karen, motioning to her surroundings. The streets were empty, save a few cars. 

“Our government is losing its mind,” Atlanta Karen said. “All we need to do is get Trump down here and fix everything.” 

Just then, a popping sound echoed through their empty heads. 

“What is this?” Denver Karen pushed her gooey fingers into her ears.

“It’s like Pop Rocks!” Atlanta Karen screamed. “I only know because my 37 year old son eats them everyday with his breakfast. He’s a strong boy, he really is.” 

“MAKE IT STOP,” Bellowed Lansing Karen, clutching her ears. 

“You cannot make it stop,” came a loud voice from below. The three Karens looked down. At their feet stood an army of 1-inch creatures. There must’ve been a few hundred of them. Their bodies were neon green and smooth. The army took up the same space as two standard-size SUV tires (new tires, like from a lease). 

“Only we can stop it,” said the creature. With that, he snapped his tiny fingers and the popping noise stopped. 

Atlanta Karen put her hands on her hips and narrowed her beady eyes. “And who do you think you are, exactly?” 

“We are the virus,” he replied. “And unfortunately for everyone here, nature is healing.” 

The three Karens signed the cross, turned in a circle and spit. “You can’t say those words here!” 

“My name is Covid,” continued the 1-inch creature. He gestured to his army, “And these are the Chads. We can help you three brave women achieve your goals. You want to dye those roots? Done. You need to pick up some overly-religious birthday cards for your gay niece in a longrunning effort to smack the devil out of her? Done. You want to drink vodka sodas at your favorite tiki bar? Done. All we need is one small favor.” 

The three karens turned to each other in a huddle. All three heads touched, though their hair was sharpened with copious amounts of hairspray and poked each other’s eyes. They finished their muttering and turned to Covid, crossing their arms. 

“We’re going to need to speak to your manager,” They said in unison, turning up their noses. 

Covid furrowed his brows. “That’s obviously me,” he snapped. “I literally just said…nevermind.” 

At this, a seething rage went through all three karens. So strong that their bodies lifted into the air as a single thought raced through them. How dare this tiny neon asparagus head talk to me like this. The tone! 

——————————————————————

Long story short, Chad and the Covids took over the brains of the three Karens, who in turn rounded up an angry mob of dumbasses. They all became infected, millions of people died. Fortunately, most of these deaths were the dumbest and greediest people on the planet. This has positively affected the bell curve of idiocy. Humanity is collectively more intelligent now. 

Once Chad and the Covids succeeded in reducing overpopulation by way of eliminating evildoers (their true goal all along), they sunk back into the Earth and became seeds. Over the next few years, humanity saw a surge of beautifully tall trees pop up all over the world, one by one. 

You want to know about the other people who needlessly died because of the Karens? They were some of the kindest and hardworking people humanity had. Doctors, nurses, grocery store clerks, garbage handlers. Their names are engraved in glass sculptures all over the world. 

Plants dance

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The upstairs neighbors upset me from time to time, with loud bangs and scraping. But I’m on the top floor. Sound carries in weird ways which are annoying all the same.

Four young plants moved into the apartment a few weeks ago. One’s called Monstera Deliciosa and I can’t wait for it to sprout holes in its leaves. I check as often as possible, hoping to catch a leaf breaking the moment it happens. [it’s very possible it doesn’t work like this]

Another plant lifts up in the morning with the sun, then shrugs when the light goes behind the buildings. Weird. Plants dance.

It must’ve been about the book the last time I wrote here. I gave up on poetry at some point last year, or gave up trying to make other people read it. Or gave up on making money. I’m trying to give up on every aspect except making them. See how much I’ve changed? I’m easy-going as a houseplant.

YOU vs. ME part 4: BEHIND

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Click on the cover or right here to read part 4

“Behind” is the final chapter of the four-part poetry series, You vs. Me. It’s angsty. It’s full of rage and bitterness. It’s the true spirit of You vs. Me.

Other titles in this series:
Part 1: Honestly
Part 2: You’re Better Off
Part 3: Leaving Everything

Buy the book here

Thank you for reading,
Eva