YOU vs. ME part II: YOU’RE BETTER OFF

Hi everyone!

The latest installment in the chapbook series, YOU vs. ME, is here! “You’re Better Off” was originally going to be a stand alone chapbook called “Almost Love Poems” but I decided it needed to be part of a larger story. If you haven’t read part 1 yet and like doing things in order, click here to read “Honestly.”

Thank you so much for reading, and let me know which poem you relate to the most!

-Eva

Zelda poem #Lynel

#lynel
gung ho – hung tho


i missed the lilacs bloom this year
their sweetness and purple color.  
Dumbass Me. Can’t believe it.  
hooked into a jack ass with
ass for days
(centaur)
nothing near as sweet as spring
so i passed the lilacs a dozen times i bet
one night i go outside just me
i drop everything i can let go  
in the grass
no phone keys wallet
it’s just me out there with restless crickets
so i missed the flowers and became a kid  
hosed out my stamina wheel  
left the block breathless

i sat in a cemetery before work
on a bench by the service berries  
white petal perfume
pure and delicate.
Birds chatting.  

Coworker chat

At work the other day, a coworker and I talked about how tired and prone to mistakes we were.

I said something my old history teacher used to say, “I’m a few sandwiches short of a full picnic.”

My coworker thought I said “you’re a few inches short of a full dick pic.”

Two-Bucket Puke Day

Just got off work at the music venue. It was an all-ages show so they have to be done at 10.

The crowd didn’t do anything (hardly even danced) it was slow as hell for us. I walked around the club looking for something to do, making sure bartenders and whoever else didn’t need anything.

The person who was Head of Security for the night came up and said, “Eva, there are two huge piles of puke at the door.”

I said, “Sweet, I’m on it.”

And you know those big ole yellow mop buckets you see when the store is closing?

He said, “you’re going to need two buckets.”

Other than that, work was pretty boring tonight. Fine by me.