Eva Moe

  • Excerpt from Sort of Super Volume 1

    Here’s an excerpt from the beginning of Sort of Super. Randy Bones has just stumbled out of the spaceship onto a new planet and is accosted by an old man claiming to give him superpowers.

    “You get four options,” the man began.

    Four options? “Isn’t it usually three?” Randy asked the stranger.

    The old man snapped, “The number of options depends on which type of people we’re short on.”

    “Wha-? There are types? But that means I’m not…” he tried to think of a word that wouldn’t make him sound like a whining schoolboy, but time was running thin. “I’m not special?”

    “No. You were chosen from among the earthlings because of your incredible generic-ness. You are average in almost every way.” Delight oozed from the man’s face as he continued, “Average height, average weight, job performance. Even your romantic life is average. You’ve had sex twice in the past year. Honestly I’m quite pleased you’re one of my recruits. What you do excel at, however, is imagination. Your thoughts are almost constantly going to another world. That’s value.”

    Randy wanted to cry. He wasn’t special? Someone was reading his mind? How many sexual fantasies did this old man know about? How did he know about his sex life? And hell, he thought working as a daytime receptionist for a music venue was hella cool but whatever!

  • Honey

    you only commit to illusions like me
    pulling fists from my pockets
    but they’re bees
    in your stomach

    your mouth is full with the honey of my language
    yes, it’s Crimson and Clover
    dripping over and over

    you ran up the alp to whip your heart in shape
    but worked too hard
    it’s over zealous

    you caught a bird in your hands
    who flew you south for the winter
    now your blood’s with the crows
    and you’ll never learn my syntax

  • Tempe, Arizona

    Tempe, Arizona
    is the Oscars on a blowup bed,
    my dog saying No to the desert mountain,
    mystery mariachi slipping over a wall,
    drinking beer at the movies
    dining at a hot Mexican restaurant and the check
    insisting that friendship is expensive.
    Tempe is the place where you find out
    you are hotdish and your friends are sushi.

  • Yellow Amarillo

    Yellow Amarillo,
    I almost did not find you because of the sunset.
    That fucker took my eyes like a beak to marbles
    and the visor in the car? I slapped my face with it.
    Knocked the wraparound sunglasses clean off
    in a rush to see the road again
    but the sun spat “look at me, you ignorant swine”
    and I was like, “Amarillo?”

  • A Dollar Twenty

    A Dollar Twenty
    it’s 2017 and I owe the library a dollar twenty.
    I forgot four books at once
    but they don’t talk about it at the checkout.
    no “hey look it happens but if you don’t pay us back
    you’ll never read Stephen King in this town again.”
    Consider me a villain.
    Give me a franchise.

    Miss Sayonara and the Book of No Return
    and the reVIEWS, darling!
    Box Office Anti Hero Stuffs Two Dollars in Envelope
    Bloody Insignia Indicates Unstable Temperament
    Non-Returner Repents
    Book Bandit at it Again
    Library Seeks Revenge
    she owes a dollar fifty.

    That’s it? I’ll give you three.
    Take my dreams to the laundromat
    show me the muscles of your forearms         dry
    here’s the chipped yellow grass you can water with sepia tone
    dye this landscape burnt orange like those teeth in that Western
    read me the trash about galloping abs
    you want a dollar fifty?
    I raise you my space ship
    pirate ship         indigo baby dragon
    majestic brown horse         washboard nihilists
    will they won’t they modern friendship
    psycho brawler         dream thieves
    bank bullets        shooter boots
    a black cat         a salt circle
    a weather woman shoots rain from her eyes
    into the neck of a hipster
    and I return to you with these stories.

  • Omaha

    Grandma’s yellow raincoat makes me eerie
    like a liquor woman undercover
    like the man who waves back follow the leader.

    I want to hear the ocean boom from the belfry,
    a sonorous bell singing nine p.m.

    The town fell dark before I arrived
    so I forgot to fear the men
    this city gave me
    new air, wet tires

    My hometown shadow scales the tower
    I play the old game, follow the leader.
    The belfry plays nine thirty.

     

  • Road

    I’ve been on the road for two weeks without doing laundry anywhere but the sink.
    I brought a white flowy tunic specifically for Arizona.
    Now the cuffs are tan in Denver.
    my laptop clicks when it opens and I wince because I’ll need a new one,
    but I gave my money to the waiters in Tempe.
    I’m drinking Folgers in a borrowed mug,
    thinking about Minnesota.

  • Dirt Dog

    the three of us uncovered a classroom skeleton in playground sand
    just the left arm, no shoulder
    i wanted the rest of it

    later that day i took a knife to my throat
    cut a paper thin circle. Shoved a sponge down those froggy tubes
    and pulled it back out
    i would not be sick anymore

    then i tossed the arm in a garbage bin
    along with the sponge, put my skin back on
    and pedaled back to the others on the Dirt Dog

  • I’m Sorry, Wendy Xu [poem]

    I’m Sorry, Wendy Xu
    your new book came in the mail
                   you sent it to your sister
                   an early release just for her and some special others
    I was there when she opened it. Glossy
                   slick and perfect
                   Please understand my life is a sitcom

    I washed it
    with my elbow and that glass of water but thank god you went for the nice cover
    I went for a quick wipe off cover up
    it dried before I reached the next town
    just wanna say sorry

  • Enemy Friend Request quick write 

    you taught me how to hate and for that I am eternally grateful
    I learned how to betray a good friend (you) without guilt
    for that I can only thank myself

    you saw me in the nightclub
    grabbed my shoulders
    said hello
    That night I also saw alien porn projected on the venue’s screen

    A haunted house and a 3 meter dick (old vacuum hose?)
    a feeble woman jogs away from whatever arts and crafts the production team got into

    I find myself near the Triple Rock where the slimy penis flopped around
    Somehow I think of you first.
    Dammit, woman.
    I cast you as Lifetime Arch Enemy & paid you in thoughts on a rolling basis
    Now I’m hiring.
    I wish you still thought my name was a curse
    you wrote such wonderfully horrific things about me.