Music. It’s what dreams are made of. There’s something strange in the air but let’s not talk about it yet. Things are changing in my life, and here’s what I’ve been listening to while that happens.
VINYL! I have a record player set up now complete with bookshelf speakers, an old Audio-Technica turntable, and an Onkyo receiver. The bookshelf speakers are not resting on the same table as the turntable anymore, worry not. I only have about 10 records, 2 of which are from bands I was in. Vinyl is like $20-40 new though and takes up space, so it’s a highly selective process. You better believe I’ve got Heavy Metal and 3D Country. Torn between preordering Geese’s upcoming Getting Killedor buying it from the merch table at their show. I want a signed copy!
“100 Horses” by Geese – particularly fond of the line “But we have danced for too long / We have danced for far too long and now I must change completely” and yes it’s because of the Winds of Change in my life rn
Bryter Layter and Pink Moon by Nick Drake – Just getting into Nick Drake for the first time. My current favorite is “One of These Things First“.
RadioK.org – I used to work there, and it’s one of the first places I turn to when it’s time to branch out. I requested “For Ella” by Friko but they vetoed it because it was too sad. Fair. Now that I have an actual radio, it’s tuned to 100.7 FM <3 Twin Cities, baby!
Gustav Holst’s “Mars“ – It. Does. Not. Fucking. Miss. Some strange remix was playing at the Electric Fetus, and the store guy said it was “The Devil’s Triangle” by King Crimson. Right on. When it’s time to lose your smile and do what must be done, Mars will give you strength.
Most of this was exclusively what I needed to assist me with the Geese essay. Music, ASMR, an audiobook, and now I’m worming my way back to Japanese immersion and other music.
“Taxes” by Geese. Well of course. Though after I finished the essay, it has been on the shelf. Perhaps a deep dive was an overindulgence in the food of this song, and I may never be able to taste it the same way again. Who’s to say.
FrivolousFox’s background ASMR. I haven’t watched this video and can’t even tell you what all the triggers are. But whenever this plays, I immediately lock in. Oddly, no other video has worked this time. Usually a pomodoro will do it, but no. Can’t even be Frivvy’s other videos. Gotta be This. One.
“Self-Reliance” by Ralph Waldo Emerson – audiobook from Libby. I was super stuck with my essay and figured I better return to Emerson for help, as I haven’t read him since high school. I was into the transcendentalists back then and am pleased I can actually understand what he’s talking about now. The audiobook is only an hour, so give it a shot!
Heavy Metal by Cameron Winter. I worry that one day I’ll listen to this album and it’ll sound like the summer I was stuck in traffic.
“Trinidad” by Geese. Couldn’t get a more perfect song for a drive to work with the windows down. Cameron Winter released/leaked it – there’s speculation that it was a cute thing to do for hardcore fans – 4 days before the official release. I lucked out and hopped on his IG live during his announcement. Being a fan of people who are both real and still alive is pretty neat!
Furen-san’s Let’s Play of Supermarket Simulator Now that the wave of insanity has quelled, I am slowly inching my way back to Japanese immersion. Haven’t started up Anki again this month. Wondering if I’ll take the JLPT in December after all.
Cut Worms by Cut Worms. This album’s only 35 minutes and it’s perfect for a drive or a walk. It sounds old, but it’s from 2023! Notably, this is the only non-Geese music I’ve been able to sink into in recent months. On repeat: “Is it Magic?” and “Let’s Go Out On The Town” (does someone wanna dance with me to this song?)
The amount of scarves this song has me pulling from its sleeves makes me feel like a clown about to cry at a party. Just when I think I’m done, there’s more. Here’s the official audio, and the video (video’s audio is slightly different).
Caveats before we begin:
This is my own interpretation of the work. While I proudly belong to Geese Nation, I am not actually affiliated with the band :[ and cannot claim my arguments to be the truth or what they intended.
That said. I am 100% right about everything.
Taxes I should burn in hell I should burn in hell But I don’t deserve this Nobody deserves this
If you want me to pay my taxes If you want me to pay my taxes You’d better come over with a crucifix You’re gonna have to nail me down.
Doctor, doctor! heal yourself Doctor, doctor! heal yourself And I will break my own heart I will break my own heart from now on.
This is not Cameron Winter’s usual stream-of-consciousness style of writing like we see with Geese’s 3D Country and his recent solo album, Heavy Metal. This time, “Taxes” reads like a premeditated poem layered with double meanings and purpose. Here, we have a writer who made a deliberate switch in writing style as a way to lead by example. The band plays with form both in the doubling of lyrics and the change in the middle and in doing so reveals the truth about our own patterns. We do not consume to satisfy ourselves, but to prevent others from surviving, using conformity as a means to unjustly absolve ourselves of guilt. That is the key. The characters in “Taxes” act upon others. Geese tells us to examine this choice with unwavering empathy, and convinces us to follow a moral code. Though, it’s not enough to simply recognize we’re hurting others, but to feel the same pain as we have caused.
The amount of doubling is noteworthy in how it both emphasizes each idea and presents choices. Max Bassin said in an interview, “We really loved the switch that the song does right in the middle…It’s one song and then it’s another song.” In terms of form alone, we have two songs, six couplets with repetition, and light versus dark. The single cover art has a bright blue sky in contrast to the dark video. The album art has a trumpet and a gun. A classic dichotomy. Don’t be bad. Be good instead! But how can you decide what’s good in a world that always changes?
In Japanese, there’s a concept that instructor Cure Dolly called “self move/other move“. This is more than a grammar point I need to know for the JLPT. Here we have makeru, to be defeated (self move) and makasu, to defeat (other move). In “Taxes,” each character is other-moving, placing their actions on others. “Doctor, heal yourself” and “I will break my own heart from now on” mean that both characters must go from other-move to self-move.
There are three characters in this song, and all of them suck in their own special way. The speaker breaks hearts despite knowing it’s wrong. The tax collector (whose identity is debatable) takes from the speaker without permission. The doctor tries to fix other people’s problems rather than address their own. Acting as a herald, the speaker calls all three of them out on their bullshit because he himself is faced with an empathy so painful it rivals the depths of hell. All three of them have the ability to change the direction of their behavior from others to the self. Not as a way to stand among their peers in conformity of what might today be considered morally good, but to be fully aware of themselves.
“Physician, Heal Thyself,” is a proverb that basically means to deal with your own problems before you try to fix others, like the flight attendants say. The doctor, who famously heals others, is told to heal themselves. If we follow the logical pattern, we can also assume the speaker usually breaks other people’s hearts and will break his own from now on. And I don’t believe we have an egotistical Cameron calling himself a hotshot heartbreaker. Rather, we have a speaker who has either discovered empathy for the first time or has been broken by the same harm as he’s inflicted. There is no apology, only a recognition of self and a resolve to change.
Lyrically, this last verse is doing the most challenging work of the song. It introduces a logical pattern, commands all characters to ‘other-move,’ and gives us more background about the speaker. So what do we know about him? Do we know why he should burn in hell? Why and how does he break hearts? Is this person designed to cause harm and can only control where it’s aimed? We don’t know a damn thing, turns out. I’m guessing Cameron would like it that way.
Literal or metaphorical, the song changes color depending on your interpretation of the word “taxes,” but it keeps the same flavor. Taken literally, the tax collector’s identity is likely the US government. It’s July 2025 and many people are concerned that our taxes are funding the genocide in Gaza. “Taxes” could certainly be a protest song, as there is much to criticize about how our government does or doesn’t spend our money. Metaphorically, the tax collector is an entity that takes from the speaker without his consent. Taxes could be money, it could be dignity, love, any number of things. RIP Henry David Thoreau, you would’ve loved Geese.
We’re all poets here, but ultimately the song still slaps whether we’re being literal or metaphorical. The collector has plenty of things to fix in their own house before coming after our speaker, who will fight to the death rather than lose whatever he’s holding onto. In the third verse, he’s holding onto his heart so nobody but him can break it. So why isn’t this a love song?
Geese’s last album 3D Country and Cameron Winter’s solo album Heavy Metal both deal with themes of loneliness and romantic love. This time, we as listeners are certainly allowed to take this song as a romantic lament. And as a standalone song, that could work. However, the nature of the video alone screams social commentary. That plus the album’s title, Getting Killed, and the album cover of Emily Green with both a herald’s trumpet and gun pointed at the viewer prevent me from calling this a love anthem. More importantly, I trust that the writer who brought us “Love Takes Miles” would not fold a love song beneath this many unrelated references. Instead, these elements suggest judgement and rebirth.
In the official music video, Geese references Francisco Goya’s Saturn Devouring His Son. Goya made a series of paintings in his home directly on the walls between 1820-1823. No canvas, no titles or notes. Experts believe this painting is probably about the time Saturn didn’t want his children to overthrow him, so he ate them. As The Replacements would say, “he might be a father, but he sure ain’t a dad.” Also, what was that prop made out of?
Regardless, if we liken a concert-goer to Saturn, we can argue that the crazed audience acts upon their own selfish desires and consumes each other to prevent others from climbing the ladder first. Kill or be killed. But must we be cannibalized first before knowing it’s wrong to eat the homies?
The video begins as if shot on an audience member’s phone. You see their POV as they weave through the crowd and get closer to the stage. It looks like a chill, intimate concert that would make you feel safe and respected, as the audience easily allows the viewer to the front despite their lateness to the show. But when Geese hits the final note in the 2nd verse, “down,” the sound and energy expand, and the audience becomes chaotic and violent. What a word to change things, eh? Like a command – Down with civility baby, we’re eating feet!
deep blue sky = higher altitude? = Emily’s far above usa cyanometer measures the blueness of the skyGetting Killed album cover, queen of multitaskingScreenshot of their website
In the official tour promo & their current website’s design, there’s a gun, crucifix, sword, and a trumpet. The four of which sound like the makings of a great D&D campaign (Geesecast episode 4. Please). On the single’s cover art, Emily Green towers above us in a pure white robe on a bright day, sword of judgement in hand. Her stance is open, but she is turned away from us, hair draped over her face as if she doesn’t want to look at us. Is she pushing us away or beckoning us to join her in the deep blue sky? Since they recently posted a short on YouTube with the caption “found the light,” I’m gonna say we are being beckoned to die and join them in heaven. But let’s just say they’re talking about finding the light within, like in a metaphorical sense while we’re still alive and they don’t truly mean anything more sinister (omg am I in a cult). What do they really mean?
Let’s turn to Ralph Waldo Emerson. (As an aside, he and Thoreau were both alive when Goya made the Black Paintings) Here’s an excerpt from “Self Reliance” (honestly the whole essay is such a banger it was hard to choose just one excerpt). Essentially: Absolve you to yourself regardless of what society deems good or evil, because the definitions of those words change. In “Nina + Field of Cops,” Cameron sings, “My name is gonna sound old to you, but names are donuts on the sea, names are peanuts in the trees, names bid you to beg for trash.” These two excerpts hold either end of the same jump rope. Choose what is right in your heart no matter who surrounds you. (don’t be a dick about it though)
And at 2:48 we have someone who “found the light.” This person alone – apart from the band on stage – stands still among the violence, tears dripping down their face. Neither as a victim or perpetrator, but someone who chose to separate themselves from the mob through nonviolence. The Geese Way. To gaze above the mess like Cameron, Emily, and Dominic (Max is busy getting killed with a drumstick, which checks out) and absolve themselves in a way that allows for inner peace.
Through the video and use of references, and by making a lyrical and sonic choice that crafts this song into doubles, Geese leads the way to the bright light. First we gotta kill our past selves, along with the parts that yearn to destroy others who are already ahead of us or rising there. Which hopefully is not an everyday experience for you but I digress. Then, we gotta accept the truth of what’s left. Chin up! There’s always another song to change into.
Cheers, Eva
P.S. Some have called this “rapture vibes”. To thee I say: Ye who knows more about Jesus may write thine own essay. I didn’t even know “Physician, Heal Thyself” was a thing until my friend Emmett told me. Thanks, Emmett!
Lately I’ve been listening to Sarah Chang again. She’s got a special place in my heart, because when I first started playing the violin at 8, my grandma gave me her 1992 Debut. It was a little girl (Chang) on the front cover not much older than me, and she was playing violin with such ease and mastery. That album had Sarasate’s Carmen on it, which I recognized from an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog. I thought this was scary as hell so naturally I kept listening to it.
Here’s what’s been going on in my ears this week:
Sarah Chang – Pablo de Sarasate’s Carmen Fantasy . The story of the opera (Bizet) is wild. It’s an opera, though. Someone’s gotta die.
Sarah Chang – Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. It goes hard when you hear it in its own context, rather than whatever dumbass commercial it’s slapped across.
Sarah Chang – The Sibelius Violin Concerto in D Minor. Had me crying tears of awe in my apartment at midnight after 4th of July. You can’t keep me away from Sarah Chang’s music! You cannot!
Scott Walker – his album Scott 4. My first foray into his music. I liked The Seventh Seal (based on Ingmar Bergman’s movie of the same name) for both the wrong reason and the right one. Right reason: I like chess and songs that have stories in them. Wrong reason: I thought this was named after Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. Which is a movie I have seen recently. Which has a different name than the song. Which has nothing to do with chess.
Cameron Winter’s Heavy Metal. Same as last week and the month before. Bought the vinyl this week, don’t have a record player.
Idk if this is more or less depressing than the last time I did this. Either way, new Geese music drops tomorrow. Hell yeah.
Been listening to the band Geese the past few months and it’s been a treat for the morning commute and the afternoon feelings and the evening zoomies and all those other in-between-tiles moments. There’s this one song off their album 3D Country (awesome album, listen to the whole thing!) that has always reminded me somehow of Zelda: The Wind Waker. It bothered me every time I got to that song. Why do I love this so much, where’s the nostalgia from? AND TODAY. I found it. There’s a similarity between Geese’s guitar parts (go off Emily! <3) and the pirate theme from Zelda. Love it! Let me know if you think I’m crazy, but I totally hear it.
I’m gonna be thinking about those goofy pirates now every time I hear this song. Barnacle. Hell yeah.
I started a YouTube channel for my own music! Well, I linked the account I’ve had for ages to my DistroKid. If you can see all my goofy comments since 2013 I’m begging you to inform me.
There’s only one video up right now but there are some tracks to listen to! Video: Basho (ukulele)
The song was inspired by the stone turtles that act as a bridge in the Kamo River. Also inspired by Basho’s haiku, “Even in Kyoto / Hearing the cuckoo’s cry / I long for Kyoto”
Lyrics: Hop across Nothing lost Shimmer light Golden gloss
In the summer by the riverside In the picture you’re the only eye
I’m home, I want to go home I’m home, I want to go home
Hello! Today, the band I’m in released our debut EP! Check it out wherever you stream music <3 Here’s the spotify link! And here’s our instagram.
It took quite a while to get this done start-to-finish. We started recording late 2023/early 2024, and couldn’t finish my vocals until I got back from Japan. So there was a solid 8 months of no progress. But it’s here, and while it’s new to everyone else, it already feels old to me! If my memory’s right, we wrote Forget the Science and Santa Fe all the way back in 2019 when I was just starting to play the drums. LONG time to be sitting on a song. I can actually play the drums now lol
A list of songs and 1 album I’ve had on repeat for a while. Most of these are inspired by the Kilby Block Party.
Cameron Winter’s Heavy Metal. It’s pretty rare that I put an entire album on repeat. This whole thing opened my chest and pulled out enough crayons and agony to share with the class. The lyrics have a touch of surrealism that is worthy of a poetry chapbook. And my god the vocals. Fucking hell. Playful and daunting at the same time. Like there was no other choice but to record these. I feel like a ghost listening to someone pour their soul out to themselves in their own kitchen.
Geese’s “I See Myself” off of 3D Country. It’s just fun to scream along to! Cameron Winter is the vocalist of this band, and I got to see them live at the Kilby Block Party this year. Lovely! Great to sing with your friends! The music video is fun too.
Friko’s “For Ella” off of Where we’ve been, Where we go from here. It’s a gut wrenching song that’ll pull you into the ocean by your ankles. First time I heard it I thought, “this song hurts too much, I probably can’t listen to it again safely.” I’m a few dozen listens in. “Open water by your bedside / broke a promise that I stand by.” Hurt me then! FINE! Also got to see the last bit of Friko’s set at Kilby, but sadly didn’t hear this one, don’t know if they played it.
Molly Lewis, Thee Sacred Souls’ “Crushed Velvet” off On The Lips is an instrumental track that makes me feel like a tough-talking, gun-slinging cowboy with an unrequited love. Listen to this under a full moon and yearn as hard as possible. Shake your head about your terrible luck, even. It does something.
Gorillaz’ “All Alone” off Demon Days. I’ve been listening to Demon Days since it came out in 2005. “All Alone” was never my favorite track. Didn’t skip it, but didn’t put it on repeat til now. Maybe it’s because I can finally read/understand the lyrics, but these days there’s really something special about Martina Topley-Bird’s part. Her vocals in the middle of everything “’cause I don’t leave / when the morning comes it doesn’t / seem to say an awful lot / to me” ugh. Squeeze me like a sponge, why don’t you.
Tennis’ “I’ll Haunt You” off Swimmer. I said this in my last post, but Alaina Moore’s voice is angelic. Crisp as an apple. Seeing her live, you can tell she’s got a voice you don’t have to worry about. She’s not gonna mess a note up in a million years so you can just relax. Honestly sounds 100% in control of her voice. Hard to believe, but she’s even better live. Glad I got to see them on their Farewell Tour!
There you have it! …kinda sad overall huh? It’s summer? I’ll have to choose happier music ahaha yikes girl. I stand by these repeats!
Speaking it out into the universe. This is all going for both Superfloor and my own music.
Radio play! I want to hear one of my songs on the radio, AND play live on Radio K
Superfloor T-Shirts! We can’t agree on imagery for the design lol so it will be super cool to have that process over and done with. And to actually have a band shirt! Merch! Cool!
Play with the Minnesota Orchestra. I didn’t say “pipe dream” but let’s all just agree that’s what it is. I did play with them when I was in All State in like 2011 in high school. I want to play with them again but in a different capacity. Or maybe befriend one of the players. I miss orchestras.
Open for a band I admire when they tour Minneapolis
Play a show in Japan! I’ve missed it every day since I left, and I’d love to return as a musician instead of a teacher next time. Honestly, I just want to return <3
Get back into a band where I’m the primary writer. This’ll be on top of Superfloor, so I really gotta take a look at my schedule. Ugh.
Play a music festival
Go on a Mini Midwest Tour
Finish the album with Superfloor. We’re at the early stages of a full-length and I’m super excited for it! Yeah, we’re currently focused on getting our EP pressed and released, so I’m thinking too far in advance.
Just some notes for me, how I can incorporate what I saw into my own stage performances.
Background info: 6 of us went out to Salt Lake City, Utah last week for the Kilby Block Party, an all ages music festival. Time of my life! 4 days of music is a lot for a current office worker but it was worth it. Financially, my friends and I must’ve seen well over $1k worth of shows for like half that price. We stayed at an airbnb and rented a car, we flew out from MSP to SLC. Flights were fine, SLC is a geologically awesome place, we love mountains and dinosaurs, etc.
NOTES:
First of all, I noticed how many women and femmes were on stage. I was looking forward to seeing Yo La Tengo’s Georgia Hubley on drums as it’s always cool and rare to see a fellow woman drummer. Thought she would be the last one, but I lost count! Not rare at all, it turns out. So many musicians like me were there and it was – dare I say – liberating. It’s not a boy’s club like it used to be.
Highlights –
Seeing Weezer play Only in Dreams as their final song of the night. That was my DREAM Weezer ending, and my first time seeing them. High School Eva was THRILLED.
The Justice set was absolutely awesome. As the final set on the final day, I was wiped out. Knew I had no more dance in me. Then Justice went on, and I danced the entire set.
Geese. What a VOICE.
DEVO in general. The presence!
St. Vincent stepping in someone’s nachos
Beach House’s dreamy light show
The sets weren’t too long (it’s a festival so they’re all limited on time)
Lowlights
A band I was excited to see didn’t play any songs I knew
Saturday was way too long for me (but that’s our fault). We got there at noon, and went to the Tennis after party after Weezer’s headliner act. So it was 12 hours of music. Tennis was outstanding (Alaina Moore’s vocals are unreal. Even better live.) but I think we were all falling asleep while standing at that point.
What I can bring home to my band:
A band with good rapport between them makes for a fun show to watch. People can make mistakes on stage but they come across as funny if the band is goofy/lighthearted about it. Source: 2 of Peter McPoland’s guitar strings broke while on stage and they didn’t have a replacement for him so he had to keep going – Paganini style. It was super fun to watch them all improvise & you could feel their friendship from the audience. Seeing rapport like that makes me feel like I’m part of a big friend group that’s all hanging out together.
Stage banter isn’t required for a good show. If I’m remembering correctly, Justice didn’t say a word to the audience. It was still one of my favorite sets though because it brought everyone together to dance, and I felt like I was safe to do as many of my kitchen dances as I wanted to. In my band, I’m the one that’s been delegated to the stage banter, and I’m honestly awkward AF. It might be time for me to re-adjust my method of just babbling about whatever I feel like and hope someone can hear me.
Put the hits in the set. Obviously. This is more for festivals though, since there’s a higher percentage of people who haven’t even heard of you than there are at one of your own shows. Hits are fun plain and simple. A whole audience singing one song will grab people’s attention who are simply walking by. We don’t really have “hits” yet, or at least idk which songs are most popular. Rant: there’s one song we get requested, and it’s the only one I wrote. However, my band never seems all that interested in playing it. I hope they’ll agree to at least record it officially, put it on our album, and then we can see.
I simply do not like audience participation requests from the stage. Personal preference, but I am uncomfortable when the band wants me to clap or sing a part. I’ve never liked that in any show I’ve been to, and already told my band long ago I’m not doing any of that. This just confirmed it. It’s not awkward for people in the tight crowds at the front, but it’s strange for people in the back who are spread out.
Most of the musicians wore simple outfits. T-shirt and jeans basically. Again, festival attire. But they were still able to bring the vibes without any kind of special outfits. DEVO is an exception, but they’re DEVO. They can do whatever they want and it’s fun. In short, it’s fine if I just wear a basic outfit without becoming all cute and feminine. Other examples: Future Islands’ Samuel T. Herring dressed simply, but his passionate expressive energy kept my full attention. SASAMI wore a cool flashy outfit but I remember her wild chaos more than anything else!
Full band coordination is cute AF – yeah I just talked about simple outfits. However. Peter McPoland’s band all wore 3 piece black and white suits. DEVO wore the same outfits on occasion (they somehow managed wardrobe changes within the time constraints, idk how they pulled it off…). Super cute. They even had choreography.
Opinion – bad lyrics can’t be fixed by a beautiful voice or cool music. I’ll get some arguments on this. For me, unless you’re an instrumental band, lyrics have to be top priority. I crave your words and ideas! And I want those words and ideas to be well done! Yeah it’s subjective what constitutes “bad” lyrics. But if it’s just a boring story like “I called but you didn’t pick up, we keep doing this, what are we to each other” I can’t feel anything. I want the drama.
All in all, the Kilby Block Party was a great time, and I hope I can make it to next year’s festival! The inspiration gained is already helping me level up.
