Category: blog

  • With Geese As Our Witness: An Analysis of “Taxes”

    The amount of scarves this song has me pulling from its sleeves makes me feel like a clown about to cry at a party. Just when I think I’m done, there’s more. Here’s the official audio, and the video (video’s audio is slightly different).

    Caveats before we begin:

    1. This is my own interpretation of the work. While I proudly belong to Geese Nation, I am not actually affiliated with the band :[ and cannot claim my arguments to be the truth or what they intended.
    2. That said. I am 100% right about everything.

    Taxes
    I should burn in hell
    I should burn in hell
    But I don’t deserve this
    Nobody deserves this

    If you want me to pay my taxes
    If you want me to pay my taxes
    You’d better come over with a crucifix
    You’re gonna have to nail me down.

    Doctor, doctor! heal yourself
    Doctor, doctor! heal yourself
    And I will break my own heart
    I will break my own heart from now on.

    This is not Cameron Winter’s usual stream-of-consciousness style of writing like we see with Geese’s 3D Country and his recent solo album, Heavy Metal. This time, “Taxes” reads like a premeditated poem layered with double meanings and purpose. Here, we have a writer who made a deliberate switch in writing style as a way to lead by example. The band plays with form both in the doubling of lyrics and the change in the middle and in doing so reveals the truth about our own patterns. We do not consume to satisfy ourselves, but to prevent others from surviving, using conformity as a means to unjustly absolve ourselves of guilt. That is the key. The characters in “Taxes” act upon others. Geese tells us to examine this choice with unwavering empathy, and convinces us to follow a moral code. Though, it’s not enough to simply recognize we’re hurting others, but to feel the same pain as we have caused.

    The amount of doubling is noteworthy in how it both emphasizes each idea and presents choices. Max Bassin said in an interview, “We really loved the switch that the song does right in the middle…It’s one song and then it’s another song.” In terms of form alone, we have two songs, six couplets with repetition, and light versus dark. The single cover art has a bright blue sky in contrast to the dark video. The album art has a trumpet and a gun. A classic dichotomy. Don’t be bad. Be good instead! But how can you decide what’s good in a world that always changes?

    In Japanese, there’s a concept that instructor Cure Dolly called “self move/other move“. This is more than a grammar point I need to know for the JLPT. Here we have makeru, to be defeated (self move) and makasu, to defeat (other move). In “Taxes,” each character is other-moving, placing their actions on others. “Doctor, heal yourself” and “I will break my own heart from now on” mean that both characters must go from other-move to self-move.

    There are three characters in this song, and all of them suck in their own special way. The speaker breaks hearts despite knowing it’s wrong. The tax collector (whose identity is debatable) takes from the speaker without permission. The doctor tries to fix other people’s problems rather than address their own. Acting as a herald, the speaker calls all three of them out on their bullshit because he himself is faced with an empathy so painful it rivals the depths of hell. All three of them have the ability to change the direction of their behavior from others to the self. Not as a way to stand among their peers in conformity of what might today be considered morally good, but to be fully aware of themselves.

    “Physician, Heal Thyself,” is a proverb that basically means to deal with your own problems before you try to fix others, like the flight attendants say. The doctor, who famously heals others, is told to heal themselves. If we follow the logical pattern, we can also assume the speaker usually breaks other people’s hearts and will break his own from now on. And I don’t believe we have an egotistical Cameron calling himself a hotshot heartbreaker. Rather, we have a speaker who has either discovered empathy for the first time or has been broken by the same harm as he’s inflicted. There is no apology, only a recognition of self and a resolve to change.

    Lyrically, this last verse is doing the most challenging work of the song. It introduces a logical pattern, commands all characters to ‘other-move,’ and gives us more background about the speaker. So what do we know about him? Do we know why he should burn in hell? Why and how does he break hearts? Is this person designed to cause harm and can only control where it’s aimed? We don’t know a damn thing, turns out. I’m guessing Cameron would like it that way.

    Literal or metaphorical, the song changes color depending on your interpretation of the word “taxes,” but it keeps the same flavor. Taken literally, the tax collector’s identity is likely the US government. It’s July 2025 and many people are concerned that our taxes are funding the genocide in Gaza. “Taxes” could certainly be a protest song, as there is much to criticize about how our government does or doesn’t spend our money. Metaphorically, the tax collector is an entity that takes from the speaker without his consent. Taxes could be money, it could be dignity, love, any number of things. RIP Henry David Thoreau, you would’ve loved Geese.

    We’re all poets here, but ultimately the song still slaps whether we’re being literal or metaphorical. The collector has plenty of things to fix in their own house before coming after our speaker, who will fight to the death rather than lose whatever he’s holding onto. In the third verse, he’s holding onto his heart so nobody but him can break it. So why isn’t this a love song? 

    Geese’s last album 3D Country and Cameron Winter’s solo album Heavy Metal both deal with themes of loneliness and romantic love. This time, we as listeners are certainly allowed to take this song as a romantic lament. And as a standalone song, that could work. However, the nature of the video alone screams social commentary. That plus the album’s title, Getting Killed, and the album cover of Emily Green with both a herald’s trumpet and gun pointed at the viewer prevent me from calling this a love anthem. More importantly, I trust that the writer who brought us “Love Takes Miles” would not fold a love song beneath this many unrelated references. Instead, these elements suggest judgement and rebirth.

    In the official music video, Geese references Francisco Goya’s Saturn Devouring His Son. Goya made a series of paintings in his home directly on the walls between 1820-1823. No canvas, no titles or notes. Experts believe this painting is probably about the time Saturn didn’t want his children to overthrow him, so he ate them. As The Replacements would say, “he might be a father, but he sure ain’t a dad.” Also, what was that prop made out of?

    Regardless, if we liken a concert-goer to Saturn, we can argue that the crazed audience acts upon their own selfish desires and consumes each other to prevent others from climbing the ladder first. Kill or be killed. But must we be cannibalized first before knowing it’s wrong to eat the homies?

    The video begins as if shot on an audience member’s phone. You see their POV as they weave through the crowd and get closer to the stage. It looks like a chill, intimate concert that would make you feel safe and respected, as the audience easily allows the viewer to the front despite their lateness to the show. But when Geese hits the final note in the 2nd verse, “down,” the sound and energy expand, and the audience becomes chaotic and violent. What a word to change things, eh? Like a command – Down with civility baby, we’re eating feet!

    In the official tour promo & their current website’s design, there’s a gun, crucifix, sword, and a trumpet. The four of which sound like the makings of a great D&D campaign (Geesecast episode 4. Please). On the single’s cover art, Emily Green towers above us in a pure white robe on a bright day, sword of judgement in hand. Her stance is open, but she is turned away from us, hair draped over her face as if she doesn’t want to look at us. Is she pushing us away or beckoning us to join her in the deep blue sky? Since they recently posted a short on YouTube with the caption “found the light,” I’m gonna say we are being beckoned to die and join them in heaven. But let’s just say they’re talking about finding the light within, like in a metaphorical sense while we’re still alive and they don’t truly mean anything more sinister (omg am I in a cult). What do they really mean?

    Let’s turn to Ralph Waldo Emerson. (As an aside, he and Thoreau were both alive when Goya made the Black Paintings) Here’s an excerpt from “Self Reliance” (honestly the whole essay is such a banger it was hard to choose just one excerpt). Essentially: Absolve you to yourself regardless of what society deems good or evil, because the definitions of those words change. In “Nina + Field of Cops,” Cameron sings, “My name is gonna sound old to you, but names are donuts on the sea, names are peanuts in the trees, names bid you to beg for trash.” These two excerpts hold either end of the same jump rope. Choose what is right in your heart no matter who surrounds you. (don’t be a dick about it though)

    And at 2:48 we have someone who “found the light.” This person alone – apart from the band on stage – stands still among the violence, tears dripping down their face. Neither as a victim or perpetrator, but someone who chose to separate themselves from the mob through nonviolence. The Geese Way. To gaze above the mess like Cameron, Emily, and Dominic (Max is busy getting killed with a drumstick, which checks out) and absolve themselves in a way that allows for inner peace.

    Through the video and use of references, and by making a lyrical and sonic choice that crafts this song into doubles, Geese leads the way to the bright light. First we gotta kill our past selves, along with the parts that yearn to destroy others who are already ahead of us or rising there. Which hopefully is not an everyday experience for you but I digress. Then, we gotta accept the truth of what’s left. Chin up! There’s always another song to change into.

    Cheers,
    Eva


    P.S. Some have called this “rapture vibes”. To thee I say: Ye who knows more about Jesus may write thine own essay. I didn’t even know “Physician, Heal Thyself” was a thing until my friend Emmett told me. Thanks, Emmett!

    Sources: Geese, Taxes Audio, Taxes Video, Cure Dolly, Henry David Thoreau, Saturn Devouring His Son, Self Reliance, Thanks for the photo, Thanks for the Max Interview, Actual Max Interview (Beg. 46:50), NPR tax conversation

  • 7/21/25 streams of consciousness

    There were poems I meant to write this week and sentences too afraid to call me back and so I folded them into a sock and put em in a drawer with the rest of the clean laundry.

    Apartment I
    As put away as it can be before you come over with your batteries and open lung. We are recording the river or the birds and will watch as we both guess the meaning of bulrush and if it’s as hard to pass through as the tongue makes it sound. We will watch for the sound, watch for the bird wings and ask if they’ve seen this in their ancestry before – to know something in their baths if they saw what it means to be stuck on land making our feet sick first.

    I put the sweater back, bright green I fold it the way a bird folds a puddle. I can only trace your reflection in the water and pretend I am the water too. You have a bow with no need for arrows, you let them all loose. The four of them italicized in mud. Clean.

    Apartment II
    It’s taking everybody’s toothpicks to keep me standing. Tetherball on a plate, dinner plate next to the coffee and my cold feet up on the window, I’m sliding towards the city. Wished for a birthday further away – it is a surge of water my nose isn’t ready for in the summer with the hose and artificial rainbows and wet grass stuck to ankles and the old tear in my leg tugged taught as a bowstring you aren’t supposed to pull back without an arrow. I am a habit bad for its mechanism.

    There is a day of the week with time in it somewhere, hidden inventory hidden treasure hidden day entirely fabled – a rider with a cloak and satin brown horse could come do these dishes and hunt for the nuts I buried last winter. You could come find the red paint and leather string and yellow yarn and tell me what to keep. If there was only someone as present as next week who could tell me what to keep.

  • What I’m listening to this week 7/07

    707 LOL. I like when numbers do that. 808 BOB.

    Lately I’ve been listening to Sarah Chang again. She’s got a special place in my heart, because when I first started playing the violin at 8, my grandma gave me her 1992 Debut. It was a little girl (Chang) on the front cover not much older than me, and she was playing violin with such ease and mastery. That album had Sarasate’s Carmen on it, which I recognized from an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog. I thought this was scary as hell so naturally I kept listening to it.

    Here’s what’s been going on in my ears this week:

    1. Sarah Chang – Pablo de Sarasate’s Carmen Fantasy . The story of the opera (Bizet) is wild. It’s an opera, though. Someone’s gotta die.
    2. Sarah Chang – Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. It goes hard when you hear it in its own context, rather than whatever dumbass commercial it’s slapped across.
    3. Sarah Chang – The Sibelius Violin Concerto in D Minor. Had me crying tears of awe in my apartment at midnight after 4th of July. You can’t keep me away from Sarah Chang’s music! You cannot!
    4. Scott Walker – his album Scott 4. My first foray into his music. I liked The Seventh Seal (based on Ingmar Bergman’s movie of the same name) for both the wrong reason and the right one. Right reason: I like chess and songs that have stories in them. Wrong reason: I thought this was named after Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. Which is a movie I have seen recently. Which has a different name than the song. Which has nothing to do with chess.
    5. Cameron Winter’s Heavy Metal. Same as last week and the month before. Bought the vinyl this week, don’t have a record player.

    Idk if this is more or less depressing than the last time I did this. Either way, new Geese music drops tomorrow. Hell yeah.

    See you soon,
    Eva

  • Geese + Wind Waker?!

    Been listening to the band Geese the past few months and it’s been a treat for the morning commute and the afternoon feelings and the evening zoomies and all those other in-between-tiles moments. There’s this one song off their album 3D Country (awesome album, listen to the whole thing!) that has always reminded me somehow of Zelda: The Wind Waker. It bothered me every time I got to that song. Why do I love this so much, where’s the nostalgia from? AND TODAY. I found it.
    There’s a similarity between Geese’s guitar parts (go off Emily! <3) and the pirate theme from Zelda. Love it! Let me know if you think I’m crazy, but I totally hear it.

    I’m gonna be thinking about those goofy pirates now every time I hear this song. Barnacle. Hell yeah.

  • New Song, New(ish) YouTube

    Hello,

    I started a YouTube channel for my own music! Well, I linked the account I’ve had for ages to my DistroKid. If you can see all my goofy comments since 2013 I’m begging you to inform me.

    There’s only one video up right now but there are some tracks to listen to!
    Video: Basho (ukulele)

    The song was inspired by the stone turtles that act as a bridge in the Kamo River. Also inspired by Basho’s haiku, “Even in Kyoto / Hearing the cuckoo’s cry / I long for Kyoto”

    Lyrics:
    Hop across
    Nothing lost
    Shimmer light
    Golden gloss

    In the summer
    by the riverside
    In the picture
    you’re the only eye

    I’m home, I want to go home
    I’m home, I want to go home

  • It’s a Mary Oliver Morning

    I’ve been reading Devotions: The Selected Poems of Mary Oliver in the mornings before leaving for work. Mary Oliver often wrote about loving the mornings, and it feels like an homage to read her work before the day settles into itself.
    I’m also studying conclusions, as it’s been quite a struggle in my own poetry. Her poems end in such a way that they mean even more than what you thought at the beginning. That to me is the making of a good poem anyway, but her language is so layered throughout. Today I came to “That Little Beast” and thought it was an Ars Poetica about how life is funny like a dog…until the last stanza. Ah the gentle sweetness of this poem! Go off, Mary!

    <3 <3 <3

  • Superfloor’s debut EP!

    Hello! Today, the band I’m in released our debut EP! Check it out wherever you stream music <3 Here’s the spotify link! And here’s our instagram.

    It took quite a while to get this done start-to-finish. We started recording late 2023/early 2024, and couldn’t finish my vocals until I got back from Japan. So there was a solid 8 months of no progress. But it’s here, and while it’s new to everyone else, it already feels old to me! If my memory’s right, we wrote Forget the Science and Santa Fe all the way back in 2019 when I was just starting to play the drums. LONG time to be sitting on a song. I can actually play the drums now lol

    If you haven’t been able to catch one of our shows, we had a fun time performing at Crumbling Heights back in March.

    Who knows… we might get radio play soon ? stay tuned <3

    See you!
    Eva

  • new band

    Music goes from one of you
    to the other
    the same way a lake will
    skip the stone
    back to you, place it gently
    in your hands.

    A chorus cloud parts.
    Open, yellowing sky.
    You are both
    fish without Poseidon
    and gods with
    one church.

  • Language Learning and Opportunity Cost: Follow the passion

    “A dream without a plan is just a wish.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

    One of my dreams since about 2007ish (middle school era where all dreams begin) has been to become fluent in a second language. Reading, writing, speaking, listening. Fluent in all areas. It was just a wish back then.

    The past two years, I’ve been studying Japanese to such a degree that it is now part of my lifestyle. I enjoy my daily anki and daily immersion. Seeing a grammar point or vocabulary word I learned that morning in a podcast or anime is a dopamine rush stronger than anything coffee or cake could bring me. As such, learning Japanese is truly a fulfilling practice that I have no interest in giving up or toning down in any way. And yet.

    Back in middle school, my best friend was from El Salvador and we had a small group of Spanish speakers + me, a monolingual white girl. I had no idea what a rare opportunity that was to learn Spanish. Didn’t even consider it. I chose French instead because my relatives who lived nine hours away in Canada spoke French as their first language. To this day I am baffled I didn’t choose the language my best friend and a significant portion of my own country spoke. Maddening.

    So, in middle school and high school I studied French, just as I did for the first few semesters of college. Omg I’ll be fluent in French soon! My dream! I was only one semester away from completing my language requirement, but one thing led to another and I found myself in summer school. Studying Mandarin by choice. Definitely didn’t have to be there. The classes were pretty hardcore for me. It was a summer crash-course that met four hours a day, Monday-Friday. One entire school year of Mandarin in three months. It was grueling, horrible for my mental health, and also incredibly valuable. However, that fall semester, I couldn’t keep up with the class and ended up failing, something I’d never once done in my entire school history.

    Then, fortune struck and there was an exchange program opportunity. I went to live in Beijing for 3 months towards the end of 2015. There, I studied Mandarin with friends, took lots of photographs and ate so much food that the staff at a local restaurant recognized me as a regular and wished me luck when it was time to leave. Got back to the US and ACED my next Mandarin class. From complete failure to success. It’s a redemption story I would later tell many sad students after passing them back a failed test. A kind of failing sucks but you can’t avoid it, so keep going talk.

    After two intense schoolyears of study, I was speaking Mandarin at an intermediate-to-advanced level. Not fluent, but getting there. I could talk about current events, share my opinions, complain about things and encourage others. Omg I’ll be fluent in Mandarin soon! My dream! Oh really? I haven’t studied Mandarin since I graduated in 2016. I’ve missed it for nine years and have always planned to return to my studies one day. One day.

    Naturally, when I started learning Japanese I felt a little guilty. First, I discarded French to study Mandarin. Then, I discarded Mandarin to [do whatever I was doing from 2016-2023] study Japanese. Where is my sense of loyalty? Where is the determination to achieve my dream? Am I incapable of finishing anything at all? Can I even wash all the dishes in one go?

    I now find myself in a similar predicament as Middle School Eva. At my job, most of my coworkers and clients are native Mandarin speakers. I’m at work 40 hours a week. I could become conversationally fluent in a relatively short amount of time. This is the ultimate opportunity! The redemption from my childhood I could so easily take for my own! Rule the worl– achieve my dreams!

    And all I want to do is study Japanese. What the hell is wrong with me? And how much does a sacrifice weigh? Do I surrender my love of Japanese for an old dream? Waste a precious opportunity for my current obsession? Perhaps the answer lies with an old student of mine.

    I once had a Brazilian student (I was an ESL teacher for 3 years) who was in his 60s and was a joy to have in class. A cliche line that holds up in this case. He argued that a person should be fluent in at least one language in its entirety. All receptive and productive skills you’re physically able to do – listen, read, write, speak – at least one language must be mastered. He said a person should also be conversational or even fluent in speaking in at least three others. Four total. The language your country speaks, two major languages, and the language of where you want to travel or whose media you want to consume.

    To learn a language “efficiently,” it’s imperative to pour as much time and attention as you can into it. I can’t dial down my Japanese study if my end-game is to engage with native material and native speakers. Just like I can’t dial up my Mandarin study to the same intensity as Japanese. Aside from the common advice, “don’t learn two similar languages at once,” I just don’t have it in me.

    So when I think of my student’s opinion, which is so different from a typical monolingual person from the States, I can relax a little. I’m not giving up Japanese. Je refuse! But to be surrounded by native Mandarin speakers without even trying to engage in their language is an absolute waste I couldn’t forgive myself for.

    I’ll keep doing what I’m doing in Japanese. After all, if there’s one thing a person needs to become fluent, it’s motivation. But maybe I give up chess on Duolingo in favor of Mandarin. [Yeah, you can learn chess now. I’m terrible.] Take that basic Chinese vocab and speak to my coworkers more. Just small talk for now (you can imagine where I’m at in the “use it or lose it” timeline). Put more than zero effort into Mandarin again, grease up those wheels. If it damages my Japanese study, I’ll reassess.

    If you’re on a language-learning journey too, keep going!

    ???!
    -???

  • Museum trip: The world and its strange time

    Isn’t it strange how corpses and people are two different things. One is what the other used to be, and one is what the other will become. A double-sided display of time. I was just in a museum looking at prehistoric vases, and there were some from the era of The Art of War and Romance of the Three Kingdoms. An empty mason jar is on my table. Humans and our drinking vessels.

    The jars were all from China. I wonder what it would be like to grow up in a place with such long history with a people who have lived for ages.

    I get this strange crawling feeling at museums. Was this bowl made among friends, and what else did the maker do that day? What did they say or wish for? Did they think about the end of the bowl’s life?

    And then there are these porcelain pillows. The experts don’t sound 100% sure if they were for daily use or for tombs. A person or a corpse. So close to being the same thing. I’m creeping myself out now.

    Hope you’re having a good week. I’m gonna keep thinking about longevity.

    Eva